I don’t even know where to start.
This is my first time ever publically writing and I am just a bit overwhelmed. Usually when I write something, it goes in my notes on my phone or I would jot it down in my journal. But this, this is different. I think it is different because I know that it can be read by anyone who stumbles upon this. There is a sense of fear that I am experiencing while typing this and thinking about this blog.
I know I want to write this blog because it will be a great public documentation for myself. I want to drop down knowledge and just, really paint a picture of my journey. It is something that I have thought about extensively and maybe I have fantasized about it in my head. So in this actuality of me actually writing this blog, I’m nervous.
I definitely feel like an imposter, more like, who am I to start a blog? I am also thinking, “Is my grammar even correct?”. And even with that, I don’t even know if that was correctly stated. This is fun however. I think
I just needed to get over the huddle of just starting. I can always learn things and expand my knowledge. If my grammar isn’t the best, who cares, I can get better.
I definitely want to become a better writer. That involves this process, but also reading more. I actually have a list of books I want to read. I think that once I finish my first book, I will start a sort of, book review section on my site. I actually could write a review of a book I read recently just to dip my toes in. I think I may do that. But this is a lot.
I have a lot that I want to do. I just started in a new position for work, so that is going to be a steep learning curve to get up to speed, up to my standards. And then, I want to exceed any expectations my team has of me. I created a few additional personal projects for work that I want to do, but finding the time for it may be difficult… Actually **
I want to get back into exploring more creativity that I’ve been neglecting. I am actually excited that I filmed a podcast yesterday. It has been something I have been putting off, but like i said early, get over the huddle and just do it.
I am in the process of revamping my YouTube channel. I have some ideas, but I will keep them internal for now. Well, less public. But I think I am getting over my fear of execution. You know, it’s that feeling you get when you know what you need to do, all the steps for it, but you just can’t do it. I need to keep telling myself, I need to keep telling my ego, no one cares, just do it.
**Speaking on time, I wanted to separate this section and just mention, I know where I have the time. The morning. Getting up early is hard, but if I can do it, then it will lead to a ton of productive hours. Games. If I can play less games, keep the controlled, allotted time, then it won’t be a detriment. Consuming. If I can just stop consuming content and just create, then I will have all the time. More time. I think the thing that keeps me constantly consuming content is, I feel like I will be missing out. Maybe I need to just schedule a time for the consuming of content. That way, there is time for it. I think I am going to back track and see how much content I actually seek to consume, not mindless consuming, and then I will need to start a better system for scheduling out my weeks/days.
This whole blog post has been super fascinating. As I am typing this, especially that last paragraph, I realized so much. I think I have a clearer mind than when I started. This is pretty fun. Well, I think I am going to end this first blog. Going to disconnect and just enjoy some family time. But, a pretty productive day! Blog post, podcast upload of video/audio, some code learning. Oh, i forgot to mention the code! Next time.